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It looks like FEMA is now the Federal Editorial Management Agency.

One of the bedrock fundamentals of PR is to control the story before it controls you and FEMA’s PR wizards apparently learned that lesson in spades during Katrina. Instead of smiling FEMA workers handing out blankets and bandages, the most lasting images of Katrina are of the Coast Guard heroically plucking stranded people from their roofs.

Damn those Coasties with their telegenic media relations! We were there, it’s just that handing out blankets is so not sexy enough for TV! FEMA decided the California wildfires were going to be different.

Cue the “Reporters”
On Tuesday, Deputy FEMA Administrator, Vice Adm. Harvey E. Johnson, called a 1 pm press conference … at 12:45 pm. Sensing this might be seen badly, he magnanimously offered an 800 number for reporters to dial in … one that was a listen-only line that prevented reporters from asking questions.

To fill the missing reporters’ seats for TV, FEMA recruited employees to sit in the audience and “ask questions” like reporters. However, they neglected to tell anyone - including live audiences from Fox News, MSNBC, and other media outlets - that the folks with the oh-so-intuitive questions were ringers. In other words, they’re not really reporters, they just play them on TV.

When real reporters caught on, they quizzed FEMA’s PR director about the faux press conference. With astoundingly bureaucratic logic, he said, “We had been getting mobbed with phone calls from reporters, and this was thrown together at the last minute.” He added that despite the 15 minute notice, “we were expecting the press to come, but they didn’t.”

Even the White House Thinks it Stinks
FEMA’s performance was so embarrassing, WH spokesbabe Dana Perino took to the podium to tell living, breathing reporters, “It is not a practice that we would employ here at the White House or that we - we certainly don’t condone it.” Apparently, the WH still hasn’t learned much about that whole accountability thing. Perino said the entire fiasco sat squarely on FEMA’s incompetent shoulders saying, “And they, I’m sure, will not do it again.”

Now there’s a trip to the woodshed for you - one that’s entirely bereft of wood. No heads rolled, no public admonishments were dolled out. FEMA simply issued a statement saying they’d made an “error in judgment”, which seems a bit of an understatement to me.

But the Bushies do learn - albeit slowly. I fully expect that future DoD pressers will use similar “information enhancement” techniques to cover the War of Error.

Oh, goodie - I can hardly wait.

You’ve probably never heard of him, but Ambassador Richard Griffin resigned Tuesday. Griffin was the assistant secretary of State for the Bureau of Diplomatic Security - the titular monitors of Blackwater. A state department review of the imbroglio came out on Monday and it didn’t look good for Griffin, so the old “don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out” moment isn’t a big surprise.

Heaven knows, there’s no shortage of ex-Bushies tossed out on their keister for any number of incompetencies, and at first glance this would just be another in that disgracefully long line. But the funny thing is that while Griffin was taking the fall, his two underlings - both of whom had more direct responsibility for the blackness of the water - were promoted.

Hmm, imagine that.

The coincidence of those events doesn’t sit well with public, but sits even less-well with the poor buggers that have to follow Condi’s Foggy Bottom. “They both got promoted in the face of all this mismanagement and controversy - talk about government BS,” said a state staffer. “What does it say when State promotes the two people into DS’ most senior positions, when if they had properly managed the programs under their responsibility, we wouldn’t be in this mess?”

It says, according to another staffer, that we have, “a perverted system of government.”

I think that sums it up nicely.

If this had been a skit on Saturday Night Live or The Daily Show, it would be the funniest ever. Trouble is, this really happened. Or as the saying goes, “you can’t make this shit up.”

During Katrinagate, Brownie and the rest of the FEMAtoads really were doing a heckuva job. But those damn reporters ruined everything for them by taking pictures and asking embarrassing questions. A few goody-goodies working at FEMA probably thought they should improve their job performance during the next disaster. Riiight. Their bosses had a much better idea:

Let’s stage a press conference, and the “reporters” will actually be FEMA employees. FEMA employees pitching underhand softball questions to other FEMA employees. Brilliant!

Three days ago, FEMA scheduled a press conference to discuss their job performance during the California fires. They gave reporters fifteen minutes notice before starting the conference. Since hardly any reporters had time to show up, some of the questions were asked by FEMA employees playing the role of “reporters.”

In response to one of these “questions,” Harvey Johnson, FEMA’s deputy administrator, replied: “I’m very happy with FEMA’s response.” God only knows what the question was, but it must’ve been a zinger.

Hey, shouldn’t we all get to have this type of Performance Appraisal?

Me: “Please be honest now. How has my job performance been this past quarter? Any suggestions or criticisms? Don’t try to spare my feelings; be blunt.”

Me: “You’ve done an absolutely bangup performance this quarter. I only wish your coworkers had half of your drive and ingenuity. I’m going to see to it that you get a huge raise and a corner office.”

Each election season, flag burning crops up like an unusually persistent weed. It’s a favorite dodge to distract voters or pander to some hairy-edge group within a party. But this season, we have a twist on the old story. In between “mistaking” Obama for Osama and bitching about him being sworn in on a Koran, the flag lobby has complained loudly and disingenuously that Obama doesn’t wear a flag lapel pin or hold his hand over his heart when the national anthem plays.

Horrors! Where is the country going and why is it in this hand basket?

I love the flag as much or more as the next guy. I follow the old school ways, putting my hand over my heart for the national anthem. I fondly remember how the military stops traffic and gets you out of your car for taps. I fly the flag every day - not just on holidays to add a little color to the family cookout as many of the complainers do. Heck, I’m even an amateur vexilologist.

Having the flag as part of my daily life, I fail to see how the sartorial use of the flag makes much difference one way or another when it comes to legislating. Ditto for the hand-over-heart salute. These days, putting your hand over your heart has become as antiquated as fedoras for office wear. That’s not an excuse, but a simple fact.

I love the flag of my country. I see its beauty and strength and believe that part of what makes it beautiful is as a symbol of citizens’ right to wear, or not wear, lapel pins of their choice. Clergymen and church-goers often wear crosses at the expense of flag pins. Many of the supposedly aggrieved don’t wear lapel pins or cross their hearts at all. Yet, they would rather call others’ patriotism into question for the omission. We still live - at least for now - in a country that allows such things.

The disrespect the flag lobby shows is exactly what they often accuse their fellow citizens of doing - exercising naked political correctness. By calling Obama’s patriotism into question, they sound as loopy as those who insist that God is always a her or that every high school mascot is offensive to the point of tears. Political correctness of these kinds doesn’t engender anyone to their causes, it simply makes people roll their eyes and consider them tin-foil hatted gophers.

Sure, I’d prefer Obama wore a lapel pin and put his hand over his heart. I’d prefer that people not burn the flag or desecrate it. But what I’d really prefer is for sanctimonious vexiloboobs to drop the phony crap and stop desecrating the flag by wrapping themselves in it. I’d prefer an intelligent electorate that gives the flag the respect it deserves by not falling for these faux crusades. I’d much prefer an electorate that worried about real problems than phony, flag-draped symbolism.

Let’s run that one up the flagpole and see who salutes it.

Just when you thought the hypocrisy of the right wingers, defenders of marriage couldn’t get any more clearer, you find another example of why hetero-marriage is not better than any other kind. Have a look at this article:

Looking for a perfect little weekend vacation this fall? Here’s a travel tip you don’t hear very often: Head to Pittsburgh. Right away.

Seriously, get in the car and read this story later, because when you’re done reading, you’ll wish you’d left 10 minutes ago. There are towns with better vistas, sure, and there are getaways with more sunshine. But only Pittsburgh is the scene of the fabulously tawdry and surpassingly vicious spectacle that is the divorce of Richard Mellon Scaife.

Remember him? The cantankerous, reclusive 75-year-old billionaire who’s spent a sizable chunk of his inherited fortune bankrolling conservative causes and trying to kneecap Democrats? He’s best known for funding efforts to smear then-President Bill Clinton, but more quietly he’s given in excess of $300 million to right-leaning activists, watchdogs and think tanks. Atop his list of favorite donees: the family-values-focused Heritage Foundation, which has published papers with titles such as “Restoring a Culture of Marriage.”

The culture of his own marriage is apparently past restoring. With the legal fight still in the weigh-in phase, the story of Scaife v. Scaife already includes a dog-snatching, an assault, a night in jail and that divorce court perennial, allegations of adultery.

Oh, and there’s the money. Three words, people.

No. Pre. Nup.

Read on if you dare to discover what good old fashioned republican values are all about.

Is any one still tracking “Bushisms?” Here’s one I found today:

All I can tell you is when the Governor calls, I answer his phone

Gee whiz George, I sure hope your not reaching into Ahnuld’s pocket to answer his phone. That might end up with you getting slapped with some kind of sexual harassment suit.

The House has a plan for repealing the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT). The AMT was created in 1969 and it targeted only the wealthiest families in America. They were no longer able to use tax deductions to slither out of paying any income taxes. But the AMT was never indexed for inflation, and 38 years of inflation have redefined millions of upper middle class earners as “wealthy.”

In return for repealing the Alternative Minimum Tax, the Democrats’ tax plan will reduce the tax burden for most low and middle income workers. And some corporations and investors will be paying higher rates.

Uh oh — you know what this means. Class Warfare! Redistribution of Wealth! Sapping the moral fiber of this great nation!

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) said almost all families earning less than $500,000 per year would have a “net tax reduction.” He said “We have attempted to restore equity and fairness to the system.”

This was too much for Rep. Jeb Hensarling, R-Texas. He said “Those lazy blue collar slobs never contributed to my re-election campaign. What good are they The correction of tax mistakes should never be offset with tax increases.” And Jim McCrery (R-LA) said the Democrats’ plan was “pure snake oil.”

If this new tax law gets passed, corporations will no longer be allowed to use certain “Enron”-type accounting methods. And hedge fund managers will be limited in their use of offshore tax havens. In other words Bush will have a signing statement at the ready.

Do you trust the Associated Press? Would the Associated Press make up a lefty driven bashing claim when it comes to the White House censoring scientific reports? I’m thinking that they might face a real credibility issue and loose the newspapers and main stream media that depends on them for the truth in reporting.

Bush and his crew have done it again. Due to national security reasons, all sharp objects have been removed from the White House and the Capitol. Taking a pair of dull kindergarten scissors to the latest and greatest scientific report the administration deleted six pages from Dr. Julie Gerberding’s report for the Congress from the CDC. I’m thinking those six pages of information might have been kind of important but then again who the hell am I? Over at the Houston Chronicle they have this latest snip and tuck procedure by the President…

Oct. 24, 2007, 5:49PM
Official: White House ‘eviscerated’ climate report
Associated Press
WASHINGTON — The White House significantly edited testimony prepared for a Senate hearing on the impact of climate change on health, deleting key portions citing diseases that could flourish in a warmer climate, documents obtained by The Associated Press showed today.

The White House today denied that it had “watered down” the congressional testimony that Dr. Julie Gerberding, director of Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, had given the day before to the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee.

But a draft of the testimony submitted for White House review shows that six pages of details about specific disease and other health problems that might flourish if the Earth warms were not delivered at the hearing. - Houston Chronicle

With an inside exclusive I have a full list of all of the diseases that the President deleted. With a rise in temperature —–censored—— will become dominant in the northern regions of America. The following diseases will spread more in the southwest due to elevated temperatures, —–censored—–, —–censored——, —–censored—–, and of course the very deadly —–censored—–. People in the western parts of the nation are prone to the following diseases from the effects of global warming; —–censored—–, —–censored—–, and never seen in North America —–censored—–. People in the deep South should be aware that —–censored—– and you should move as far north as possible.

I can only hope that everyone in the nation will pay close attention and take precautions to be aware of all the diseases that our government has presented. I know I feel better having circumvented the President with this much needed information for the American people.

Papamoka

Cross posted at Papamoka Straight Talk

A few years back, my area of the country caught fire, and it was determined that a careless resident, defying a burn ban, was the culprit. People were incensed, since the fire shut the only real road between Tampa and Orlando down for DAYS. Can you say ugly communters? I knew you could.

There were thinly veiled threats to kill the guy at fault, in places like the “Ticked Off” column in the paper, and thousands more thought en masse by commuters stuck in traffic for hours each way.

In SoCal, they are in terrible trouble. The state determined the original fire was arson, and offered a 50 thousand dollar reward for the arsonist. Seems to me that anybody who knew who set the fire might not pass the squeaky clean test. After seeing the outrage, loss of principle, and wilingness to murder due to a blocked highway, I don’t think that 50K is enough to warrant opening yourself and your family to the raging insanity of hundreds of burned out homeowners.

Maybe a million? I think SoCal, if they’re serious about assigning blame and prosecuting, needs to cough up some real dough. 50K might play in Peoria, but not in the freewheeling consumer-voyueristic land of nip and tuck.

With the never ending boom in housing foreclosures comes the reality of what the biggest players in the bust did wrong or were victim of. Owning a home is the biggest goal of every up and coming generation and the market that served that dream ripped many of those same people off. While the President gave the green light to lenders to have a “Free Market” he also enabled them to run wild without care as to whom would get burned down the road.

Buying a home knows no political philosophy when the lender tells you can afford the mortgage. Provided you do not plan to eat in five or so years. Small print, really small print.

The mortgage industry has become a process the application production line and the ones that have to face the music are the people that were just passed on through the process. Raise your hand if you know five or more people that you for one know should never have qualified for a home loan?

With the enticement of home ownership, the lenders sold the people a bag of goods with a self destruct button on it several years later. Over at MSNBC they have this piece on the victims great loan options for capturing the American dream…

The plain old adjustable-rate mortgage spells trouble enough. But three high-risk loans are causing most of the trouble:

Teaser ARM. This loan features an alluring initial period of very low interest, around 1% to 2%, which later resets to market rates. About 1.4 million borrowers will be jolted back to reality in the next two to three years as their introductory periods expire. Payments on a $200,000 loan at 2% are about $725 a month; at 7%, they’re $1,340.

Subprime ARM. Nearly half of loans due to reset are aimed at low-income people, minorities and people with bad credit — folks who can’t or just assume they can’t get a bank loan at a reasonable rate. Many are in a shaky financial position to begin with and so are in greater danger of defaulting. Subprime (also called nonprime) ARMs start high — 7% or more — and go higher. And higher. They often feature a fixed, lower-rate introductory period. But when that ends, it’s “just the old-fashioned squeezarooni,” Cagan says.

Option ARM. This is the real killer. It gives homeowners the choice each month of paying the principal and interest, just the interest or an even-smaller minimum amount. Every month you pay the minimum, you’re deeper and deeper in the red. And up to 80% of option-ARM buyers pay only the minimum, according to Fitch Ratings. Because the minimum payment doesn’t cover the monthly interest, the deferred interest is added to the loan balance. After the loan balance grows to a certain point, the lender will demand that you start paying the full principal and interest — on your now-bigger loan. - MSNBC

This is not a case of predatory lending by any sense of the word. This is a case of corporate gluttony. Make the quickest amount of cash as fast and furious as you can and let the people holding the loans worry about it later. Well, it seems as if the people holding the bag later is us. How does an economy survive when the fundamental basis of the economy is housing and that goes bust?

You can not by any means blame the borrowers of all of the snake oil options that the lending industry presented to them. Our government looked the other way. Our leaders looked the other way because a dollar was to be made by friends of friends and the checks cleared over at campaign headquarters. Tom Delay and Nancy Pelosi are just as guilty in this crisis because nobody said boo! Neither of them will here your screams for help when you loose your house to the jacked up call of your loans terms.

I’m sure that you have heard or seen the radio commercials where President Bush has authorized the refinancing of your loan if it met certain terms. Think again, if you could not afford the house to begin with, could you afford it now with a refinance?

Isn’t politics wonderful. They cut your throat and make you look forward to cleaning up the blood.

Papamoka

Cross posted at Papamoka Straight Talk