Rumsfeld, Churchill: Separated at Birth?

Rummy InviteDonald Rumsfeld is the cockroach of the Bush administration. Despite the fact that even hardcore righties were calling for his head by the time he left, he keeps popping up because some people still hang on his every word.

You can identify them by the Kool Aid stains around their mouths.

The Claremont Institute apparently has a giant-size glass of the stuff. They gave him their 2007 statesmanship award at a dinner honoring Winston Churchill (and hosted by Pat Sajak - those statesmen are party animals aren’t they?). I can see where they might confuse the two men. Rummy is Winston’s identical twin, except for the lack of a bowler hat, big stogie, and a pocket watch stretching across an ample belly. Oh yeah, and Rummy is so brainless he wouldn’t know statesmanship if it reached up and bit him on his flinty, angular, ass.

Rummy used the opportunity to hold forth on how he’s right and the other 6.5 billion people on the planet are wrong. According to him, the War of Error is like the Cold War, not the month-long jaunt in the quiet Mesopotamian countryside he originally promised. In some respects, he’s right. At the rate it’s going, it’ll last longer than the Cold War, never really end, and have just as hazy and impermanent effect on world peace. But it’s not like the Cold War in it’s most important respect - it’s a Hot War. Hot like blowing things up, shooting people, and torturing your enemies kind of hot. Hot in being far more likely to explode into a bigger mess than two superpowers engaging in a mutually agreeable standoff ever was.

But you can’t say he doesn’t learn from his mistakes. Once he was the champion of a “nuke ‘em till they glow” statecraft that emphasized disdain for “old Europe” and the UN and support for good old American Go-It-Aloneism. Today? Well today, he’s calling for old Europe (NATO) to come bail our Coalition of the Inept out the global crapper. “A global alliance of free and responsible nations could better focus collective action against the growing threats to the nation-state system,” he now says.

Rummy was that a known known, an unknown known, a known unknown, or a cow? I can never keep it straight.

These days, Rummy’s all about bringing together journalists and political leaders from the Third World, Central Asia, the former Soviet Union, and America. He wants to fund fellowships in foreign policy and seek his rightful place in history. He doesn’t want to be remembered as the crazy old coot so odious that George “I Never Met a Man I Couldn’t Stomach” Bush fired him. He wants to go down in history as something far more important in his mind - the most annoying cockroach ever.

I think he has a lock on it.

One Response to “Rumsfeld, Churchill: Separated at Birth?”

  1. Jersey McJones Says:

    Yeah, when Churchill laid out the rhetoric of the “Iron Curtain” it was much the same when the Bush “Administration” laid out the “War on Terror.” It is all in the name of colonialism, the military industrial complex, and all those other Victorian notions that Churchill embraced. Rummy and Churchy - perfect idiots together.


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