Friday Funny - Kids These Days Have It So Easy

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ….
uphill BOTH ways .. through year ’round blizzards. Carrying their
younger siblings on their backs … to their one-room schoolhouse, where
they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full-time,
after-school job at the local textile mill …. where they worked for 35
cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And
I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard
I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now……..

I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and
notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids
today you don’t know how good you’ve got it! I mean, when I was a kid we
didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go
to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter … with
a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in
the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3’s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to
hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had
to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’d usually
talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang,
you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your
boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just
didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
“Space Invaders” and “Asteroids” and the graphics really stunk! Your guy
was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there
were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And
you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! .. Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old
broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just
screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.
Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you
spoiled little brats!

And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up … we
had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ..imagine that! If we
wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it
over the stove forever like an idiot.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy! You’re spoiled!

You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

7 Responses to “Friday Funny - Kids These Days Have It So Easy”

  1. Chell Says:

    Ah, the good ol’ days… *sigh* And expressed via a keyboard, immediately published for all the world to see, no pencil, waiting period or editor to please. I wonder what sort of good ol’ days tales will stun teens several generations from now. And now I’m craving JiffyPop.

  2. steve Says:

    No kidding Ken… I was sitting at the airport on my Treo, checking my GMAIL, checking in for another flight and watching the screen to see if I was going to be delayed.

    What the hell did people do before all that? Smoke?

  3. Lisa Says:

    They would have survived much better then . Less obesity ,more excersize and only one phone#.

  4. me Says:

    Why, when I was a kid, I had to walk a whole block each way to school through snow and sleet…

    In high school we had a computer. It communicated with paper tape with holes punched in it. No monitor or anything, not even windows 3.1!

    Talk about primative!

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