George Bush Tells the Truth…At Least Half of it Anyway

Chimpy McSmackerlipsIn George Bush’s weird parallel universe, fact and fiction often pass like ships in the night (going on to strike icebergs later, but that’s another post). The knock is that he lies or conveniently forgets important facts when they’re inconvenient. As far as it goes, that theory holds water, but it fails to account for a peachy-keen trick he’s mastered - he can lie and tell the truth at the same time. That’s mighty impressive for a man who probably can’t spell manipulate.

Monday’s NIE estimate revealing that Iran gave up their nuclear weapons program several years ago is a case in point. At first blush it looks like a complete repudiation of Shrubby’s bomb ‘em sooner rather than later bellicosity. “WWIII is a-comin’! They’ll have one of them nook contraptions any day now! Eye-Ran is run by a crackpot who has no respect for the world community!” (Look who’s talking.)

So does he respond by saying, “Gee whillikers folks. I got that whole Iranian weapons thing all wrong”? Of course not, that would be so very unbushian. His response was vintage Bush League after being dealt a stunning political blow - he said the estimate backs him up on almost every count.

Does anyone doubt that Iran is run by a crackpot with few brains and a big mouth? Of course not, it is. Do people know Iran has a nuclear program? Sure, it just isn’t currently geared toward weaponry. Could the Iranians get a bomb quickly? Maybe not next week, but fast enough. And would they use it? Undoubtedly. Will this keep him from sabre-rattling? Of course not. He says he’s going to rattle them louder. And, the list goes on.

His trick is to pop the kernel of truth at the center of a negative into luscious, crispy Jiffy Pop positive. If Shrub was any more chipper and confident in the face of adversity he’d make Tony Robbins look like a clinical depressive. In part, this is why he seems as so Teflon-coated. He goes out and tells the truth - his version of it anyway - and dares the nay sayers to prove him wrong. Of course they can’t exactly prove him completely wrong because he told some partial truth. Not that it matters, because most of his opponents are so cowed by their own sense of his invincibility they’re afraid to try. They live in fear of pointing out Shrub’s non-sensical half-truths in case he rebuts with a perfectly legitimate statement that sounds perfectly rational when framed within his own Orwellian context. This will only stop when we challenge him on the basic immutable truths and no stop awarding debate points for half-truths.

It doesn’t matter if he lied to pump up an Iraq invasion. It doesn’t matter that he runs the war like a no-armed man in a mosquito breeding tent. It doesn’t matter that we’re bleeding money and young lives. What does matter, is that the decision to invade was wrong and dangerous. Don’t claim you were duped. Don’t say he hid information. Don’t say you thought it was a good idea at the time, because it wasn’t and all of those things have some truth to them. How we became entrapped in Simper McBusherstein’s giant suckhole doesn’t matter. What does matter is what we’re going to do about it. It’s time we all pulled up our big boy and girl panties and told the truth. Not some cockamamie half-truth twice removed from this dimension, but a simple and whole truth.

“You sir are an asshat, and this crap has to stop now!”

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2 Responses to “George Bush Tells the Truth…At Least Half of it Anyway”

  1. Lisa Says:

    So the democrats said Iran was building a bomb because we went into Iraq. Now they say they gave it up in 2003 because we went into Iraq . Which one is it?
    So here is my proposal for all the democrats to sign onto this document:
    On this day in History December 3,2007 the NIE declares that Iran gave up it’s nuclear program and is no longer considered a threat and no further action need not be taken on the part of the U.S. And we fully agree:
    ____________________ ________________
    ____________________ _________________
    ____________________ __________________
    ____________________ __________________
    ____________________ __________________
    ____________________ ____________________

    Although this one will probably wind up in Sandy Berger’s pants.

  2. Tom Harper Says:

    Excellent description of Bush and his sleazy squirmy tactics. You’ve got him dialed.

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