Domestic Violence with a Badge

Let me just say this, my wife would kick my sorry ass if I ever raised a hand to her. My five daughters would probably join in on kicking my sorry ass if I hit their mother and Mom called for an Iron cage death match.

Domestic violence knows no boundaries or occupations and no race, creed, color or sexual orientation is without it. Tempers are what they are and sometimes the job comes home with you and sometimes some people can not check it at the door. Domestic violence is a serious problem in America and the flood gates of what is really happening in our nation is not talked about enough. It’s a fact that the majority of the abuse on spouses and children goes unreported. More times than not the violence is silent or quieted behind the four walls of a families home. The perpetrator and abusive family member is looked at from the family in a submissive mode and that the victim probably did something wrong to deserve a beating. That thought process is hard to comprehend but it happens every single day in America.

There was this story in the Boston Herald that I found and it points out several Boston Police officers that have had serious domestic violence complaints lodged against them and still hold the badge.

Critics: BPD soft on abuse
Boston cops punished in domestic cases, but kept their jobs
By O’Ryan Johnson
Friday, January 11, 2008

Despite talking tough on domestic violence, the Boston Police Department did not fire any of the 11 officers disciplined in the past two years for punching their spouses, striking their children and other violent incidents, a Herald review shows.The punishments handed down by Police Department brass in those cases include two five-day suspensions, three 30-day suspensions and one 40-day suspension. Of the remaining officers who were investigated, two retired, two resigned and one has a criminal case pending.

“It’s outrageous,” Mary Lauby, executive director of Jane Doe Inc., said of the department’s lack of a zero-tolerance policy against battering cops.

Snip and Cuff em Dan O’

Police Commissioner Edward Davis, who has been on the job for a little over a year, said a tougher policy has been in place since June 2006 that specifies officers can be fired for domestic violence complaints even if they aren’t found guilty in court.Davis said only one officer has been punished under the new rules, Lt. Dave Murphy, who received a five-day suspension for allegedly punching his girlfriend off a bar stool in Baltimore. In that case, the victim did not cooperate with the department, Davis said.

But Lauby of Jane Doe didn’t buy that as a valid defense of the department’s policy.

“This entire reliance on victims in order to prosecute, it’s a sham,” she said. “We all know that there is a substantial amount of domestic violence that never reaches anyone’s attention.” - Boston Herald

Violence in the home is and should not be tolerated by any wife, Mother, or child. Violence against family members is much like starting down the road of beginner drugs or alcohol. For that matter some people think that domestic violence is just as bad as addiction to drugs or alcohol. One step at a time it can ramp up till the walls all come crumbling down. In the worst possible scenario a spouse or child is dead at the hands of a family member.

The Herald piece pasted all Boston Police Officers in the same mold and that is not true reporting. It does however point out that the rules for all law enforcement officers needs to be a higher standard than the general public rules and laws. As in most professions in America there are idiots and scum bags. Boston’s Police Department is no different. Not all cops are wife beaters and not all cops are abusive to their children.

I don’t think there is a police officer in Boston that thinks the idiot highlighted in the Herald’s piece is nothing but a scum bag. With his disgraceful behavior in his private life it reflects back on all of the Boston Police whether they all like it or not. Then again the Herald goes out of its way to attack all public servants in Boston.

Real men, real woman do not need to hit or abuse anyone if you just open your mouth and logically vent. Violence against the family members that love you even if you have hit them in the past is not the answer. Asking them what you should do in your life is the answer. If that does not help then get some serious mental health consultation. One punch to the ones you love will damage not only your life but the ones you love forever. Seek help and advice everywhere you can and save not just your conscience but the horrible result of a family bound by violence.

My personal advice to the battered woman that are married to an abusive husband, get out and do it NOW! The life you save may be your own. No woman should tolerate even one moment of abuse. This is not 1808, this is 2008. Ending the cycle of violence from the victims point is far better than staying and letting your children learn that it is okay to beat their mother. Life long lessons are funny that way.


Originally posted at Papamoka Straight Talk

4 Responses to “Domestic Violence with a Badge”

  1. Lisa Says:

    Too bad children are helpless in the same situation.,2933,321486,00.html

  2. Liberal Jarhead Says:

    You’re right on that, Lisa - I used to work with severely disturbed kids, and most of the time, their biggest problems were their abusive parents, and the kids were helpless to do anything about it unless other adults intervened. A friend of mine was an investigator for Child Protective Services and he could only do that job for so long. I also found, later when I worked in a prison psychiatric hospital, that the more badly an inmate had been abused as a child, the more aggressive and self-destructive he was likely to be.

    This is a hot button issue for me, because when I was a kid my father beat the crap out of my mom on a frequent basis. After they were divorced and he got custody (because she admitted being alcoholic and went into treatment, which in the eyes of the judge made her less suited to be a parent than him) he switched to us. And we were, as you note, helpless - that was back in the days when everyone just looked the other way and figured it wasn’t their business to intervene when we went to school obviously beaten up.

    In the case of these cops, there’s a federal failure here too. The Omnibus Consolidated Appropriations Act of 1997 amended the Federal Gun Control Act of 1968 and made it law that a law enforcement officer who has been convicted of a qualifying misdemeanor crime of domestic violence cannot possess any weapon, even his service firearm, at any time. the reference is in 18 USC 922 (g)(9). Here in New Mexico, that was what caused the Corrections Department to suddenly start taking domestic violence by Corrections staff seriously - I was teaching at the Corrections Academy in 1999, and they tasked me with developing and teaching a class on DV as part of the curriculum there and presenting a workshop on it at the annual meeting of the state correctional association.

    Mat, thanks for bringing this up. As you say, any spouse (usually wives, but occasionally husbands) who finds themselves in an abusive relationship, should get the hell out of it - and take the kids with them!

  3. Mat Says:

    Great comment LJ and I learned something from it.

  4. Liberal Jarhead Says:

    Thanks, Mat - and Lisa too - I’d offer a suggestion to anyone who wants a look at the impact of domestic violence, among other problems, on families: rent and watch the film Once Were Warriors. It was made in New Zealand years ago and never got the recognition it should have. Very powerful.

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