Be a Real Man — Buy a Ford

The Detroit Dinosaurs are depending on YOUR patriotism for their survival. You’re their only hope; their shoddy gasguzzling land yachts certainly aren’t gonna put them in the black.

Check out this heartwarming story. Look at Toby Keith standing there saluting next to a Ford F-150. Aren’t you moved?

Real American He-Men are sick and tired of these limpwristed treehuggers and their constant “waaaaaaaaahhh global warming.” Just look at what these pansies have done to America.

Would John Wayne be caught dead in one of those squeaky little Japanese contraptions that goes wingdingdingdingdingding and gets fifty miles to the gallon? Hell No Pilgrim! And you won’t either if you have any pride in this great nation of ours.

Detroit automakers have spent hundreds of millions of dollars defeating clean air regulations and fuel efficiency standards. And NOW they’re supposed to turn around and spend even more money trying to design a car that somebody might actually want to buy??? That’s not faaaaiirr.

Toby Keith, bull rider Justin McBride and NASCAR driver Rick Crawford are urging you to buy a Ford. And there’s a posse of bull-whipping cowboys urging you to buy a Dodge Ram. Come on Patriots.  America needs you.

5 Responses to “Be a Real Man — Buy a Ford”

  1. steve Says:

    Ich habe zwei Porsches. Zieg Heil!!!

  2. Froenx Says:

    Detroit, I’ll make you a deal: make a car that doesn’t break down six months after I drive it off the lot, doesn’t look like ass, handle like a brick, or doesn’t cost 500 dollars to refuel and we’ll talk.

    until then, get off your collective asses and figure out how to make a car. you did it before. now do it again.

    That doesn’t mean hiring NASCAR fools, country yahoos or some other stupid celeb to hock your products. It means getting down to brass tacks, going back to the drawing board, and actually leaving your desks for a few days to ask people what they really want in a car. in other words, man up! get your shit together! do the math!

    If you can’t do that, don’t blame us for your demise. because right now you remind me of the kid who tries to bend the game to his whims and cries when he doesn’t get his way.

    I oughta slap you like a red-headed stepchild.

  3. Lisa Says:

    Did you know that Toby Keith is a democrat?

  4. rube cretin Says:

    Folks better get acquainted with shoe leather and doing without. now lets see how did the stock market do today? when even these bastards don’t know whats going on the rest of you don’t have a clue. now is the time to start paying attention. learn to see not just look. make friends, buy a gun. spend your money on garden tools. etc.

  5. Liberal Jarhead Says:

    Don’t forget John Mellencamp singing his heart out about GMC pickemup trucks.

    Rube, don’t forget about some way to stay warm in winter when the heating oil and natural gas aren’t there; global warming is moving faster than anyone predicted, but not so fast enough for people to start planting palm trees in Michigan and New Jersey anytime soon.

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