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The Terrorists Have Won!

Those F&%^$#!%$# Democrats If they hate America so much, why don’t they just leave???

We had such a nice cozy arrangement between the federal government and the telecommunic ations industry. The telecom companies were enabling our intelligence agencies to spy on Americans — anybody, any time they felt like it. And in return, we promised the telecom companies they wouldn’t be sued over civil liberties or the Bill of Rights or whatever it is those whiny liberals are always wailing about.

And now, the House of Representati ves has shown us — once again — whose side they’re on. They’ve allowed the Protect America Act to expire. The telecom companies are no longer immune from lawsuits triggered by their spying activities. And because of this, they might be less willing to help the government spy on American citizens.

The spoiled drug-addled fratboy President of the United States has been begging, pleading and stamping his foot, trying to get Congress to provide retroactive immunity for the telecom companies so they can’t get sued by every whiner that comes along. These Congressiona l Democrats had better hurry up and bend over for Dumbya — and you know they will; they always do — before the terrorists attack.

If the telecom industry doesn’t have retroactive immunity from lawsuits, what dire circumstance s can we expect? Well, for openers:

This means Osama bin Laden and Hillary Clinton can talk on the phone with no fear whatsoever. There’ll be nothing to deter them. They can talk about their plan to bring America to her knees, and we won’t even know about it until it’s too late. That smoking gun will turn out to be a giant mushroom cloud!

Barack Obama is probably sending a triumphant e-mail right now to Vladimir Putin and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad  (with a copy to Hugo Chavez). “Yes!!! It worked. Those stool pigeons in Congress fell for our propaganda, hook line and sinker. Now we can hatch our evil plans and get all of our codes and signals worked out. And then — BWAAAHAAHAAH AAHAA!!!!! Praise Allah!”


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7 Responses to “The Terrorists Have Won!”

  1. […] Terrorists Have Won! February 23rd, 2008 Juan G. Tornoe wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptThis means Osama bin Laden and […]

  2. Oh, no, the sky is falling. Everyone knows that the Islamic fundamentali sts take advantage of low-cost calling plans to chat with their many friends and admirers in the USA. Look at how many terrorist attacks have been foiled by illegal wiretaps on Americans! Oh, you say there haven’t been any? Oops.

    Actually, based on this administrati on’s multi-year funding cuts to just about every kind of first responders that would have to answer a terrorist attack in America - for example, after praising the NYC firefighters and their heroism on 9/11, Bush cut the federal funding they relied on so deeply that the head of their union refused to appear in public with him a year later - and the attention, effort and resources that have been put into spying on us citizens, Bush is a lot more suspicious and scared of us than of Bin Laden or other foreign terrorists.

    Methinks maybe we ought to be more suspicious and scared of him than of them, too - not that they aren’t ready and eager to hurt us any way they can, but he’s more dangerous and it looks like he hates our freedoms at least as much as anyone else.

  3. Also, when it comes to electronic communicatio n, the terrorists seem to rely more on coded messages posted on websites than on phone calls. They are hateful and evil but they aren’t stupid.

  4. Tom,
    Man, there’s such a fundamental flaw in this article it’s not funny.

    Evil laughter is always, always!!!, Mwah-ha-ha-a h, Hysterical laughter is Bwah-ha-ha-h a.

    Please don’t make such a sloppy mistake again. ;-)

  5. […] Will the Democrats stand up or bend over?… The Terrorists Have Won!–Bring It […]

  6. “the terrorists seem to rely more on coded messages posted on websites than on phone calls. ”

    LJ-Why are you so worried about them getting caught if they are so smart.

    Anyway don’t you think they are tracking websites now but not announcing it so that Waxman doesn’t go on another witch hunt?

  7. Well, Paul, there’s always the option of the Muttley laugh, too - not sure how to spell it.

    But a greater quibble with this post - we, the forces of eeee-vill, will not truly be able to claim our victory until we have not only hobbled the plucky underdogs of the U.S. government and the multinationa l corporations of the world in their selfless efforts to save Americans’ freedoms by destroying them, but have also put a horrible end to motherhood and apple pie. And Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny while we’re at it. Hear that, Dubya? And your little dog, too! (wait a minute, does he have a little dog?)

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