An Urgent New Drug Problem!

For those of us whose purpose in life is to guard America’s morals — our work is never done. We already have our hands full fighting off the Homosexual Agenda and the Devil’s Music. And now there’s a dangerous new drug from Mexico, just waiting to seduce our youth and sap their moral fiber.

Salvia Divinorum is a hallucinogenic plant that grows in Mexico. And now Americans are starting to use it. Don’t you understand what this means???

A Mexican drug coming into the United States — symbolically, this represents gangs of swarthy Meskins invading our decent Godfearing nation. These lazy hopheads will destroy everything America stands for.

Most of our politicians are unaware of this serious problem. They’re too busy whining about the war in Iraq and our crumbling economy. But fortunately, a Florida state representative is coming to our rescue. Mary Brandenburg has introduced a bill to make possession of Salvia a felony — five years for any dope fiend caught with this drug.

But this isn’t enough. Prison sentences need to be longer than that. And the American people need to be made aware of the hideous effects of this drug. This new menace will destroy anybody who uses it. An ordinary decent American who uses this drug will turn into a pervert; a monster!

We need to spread the word. Perhaps we could make a documentary: Salvia: Assassin of Youth.

6 Responses to “An Urgent New Drug Problem!”

  1. Liberal Jarhead Says:

    Why not call it “Salvia Madness?” You could have lots of scenes with wholesome looking young people sampling it and going through hideous changes that stopped just short of turning into werewolves. The less connection with reality, the better. The last time I was working an addiction treatment group, I used to sometimes show parts of Reefer Madness as comic relief. They loved it.

    When I read the linked story, I was struck by the way this Mary Brandenburg basically described the futility of the drug war, then sponsored a bill to do more of the same. It would be funny if it didn’t threaten to ruin more lives.

    Actually, when someone sees that what they’re doing isn’t working and responds by thinking they must need to do more of it or do it harder, that’s an addictive thought pattern. At this point a lot of politicians, law enforcement people, and businesses are addicted to the drug war, and like any junkie defending his stash, they lash out at any suggestion of trying a different approach.

  2. Jet Netwal Says:

    Salvia Insanity? Either way, it’s just so knee jerk to think we need more small time drug users filling our prisons. Why do we embrace failed policy like a life preserver?

    We fear change

    Oh yeah, that

  3. Craig R. Harmon Says:

    Just what we need: another mind altering drug to addle more brains.

  4. Lisa Says:

    wow Tom are you doing those drugs? You can’t even spell Mexicans. :)

  5. Lisa Says:

    to are you sure you aren’t doing drugs because you have a spelling problem. It’s speled “Mexicans”,not Meskins, :)

  6. The Sirens Chronicles » Dizzy’s Ten Post Round-Up Says:

    […] Because everybody knows that making plants illegal keeps people from using them… An Urgent New Drug Problem!–Bring It […]

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